May 28, 2009

Fast Lain-er's Lifestyle Lament

Those of you who sit there with your blackberries, trios, side-kicks, and other crazy cell devices are in luck. You have the discipline to change your lifestyle today. You’ve taught yourself how to get up and check your phone while making your coffee. You answer emails while you eat breakfast, plug it into a port to listen to music while you shower, text your family on your way to work to update each other on the day’s schedule of events, and it’s a ready tool for all the productive (and non-productive) items you “must” accomplish today.

Some of you even have the Pavlov’s Dog response when you hear that jingle, beep, tone, song, letting you know you have a message. To add onto that, some of you who smoke have become accustomed to picking up a cigarette when you answer the phone.

Fast Lain-ers, this is for you: Pick a non-committal exercise to add to your Pavlov routine. Only one! You have a tendency to add too much, but we’re going to add one, THEN in six weeks, you are permitted to change it. Let’s start with one of these:

Leg lift (10 on each leg. From a sitting position straiten the knee to hip level. This will help with posture, leg strength, circulation, and caloric spending). Just do ten on each side every time you pick up the phone.

Knee lift (10 on each leg. Keeping the knee bent, lift the leg to your chest.) Same rules apply as the above.

Stand/Sit (sit and stand 20 times. Grip your abs and just keep up and down. Don’t pitch your upper body forward. Try to do it like you have a book on your head).

Tapidy Tap Tap (Tap your foot. Do 20 on one side, really flexing as you tap, then 20 on the other)

Please don’t do these while you are driving, you shouldn’t be on your phone anyway. Just drive and listen to your music, podcast, radio, children. Driving should be time for you, since as a fast-lainer you don’t get much of that to yourself. Let the drive be your decompression time, not work time.

Finally, most people tell me that you don’t want to look silly. Start practicing this sentence: “I’m stepping up my lifestyle.” People may laugh or roll their eyes, but it’s only because they didn’t think of it first and they are jealous. Don’t let them ruin your step. Just keep going. One tap/life/stand at a time. Use this sentence when you have to grab your phone in the grocery store and you are suddenly stopped doing leg lifts. People are happy to see (generally) someone who is making an effort to better their health. Good for you and keep it up!

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